As I watched the driver of the car in the middle of the road get out of his car and disappear down the hill to see if the driver in the van was okay, I, and several other people did the same thing.
It was raining and slick, but in 45 seconds there were about 7 of us down there with the van and the driver, who was trapped, in shock...and scared. She kept closing her eyes. I was afraid she'd go unconscious.
We spoke to her through her closed windows.
"Stay awake"
"Put the car in park!" Car wouldn't go into park.
"Take the key out" She was too much in shock to figure out how to do that.
"Are you okay?" She motioned that she hit her head.
"Are you alone or is there someone else in the van?" She was alone.
"Can you unlock any doors?" No. She was trapped and we couldn't get her out, despite someone climbing on to the top of the van to try to open the passenger doors, which were facing the sky.
The men were trying to upright the van, but it looked like it wouldn't stay upright because it was on a hill. The van was teetering, looking like it would go over on the top any minute, so it was decided that the guys would, together, hold the van up so it didn't go over until help arrived.
I, and another woman, positioned ourselves in front of the van where the driver could see us through the front windshield and we kept speaking to her, reassuring her that she'd be okay. We heard the sirens, we told her. Help was coming. She nodded. She began to tremble from shock. Don't forget to take deep breaths, I told her in an effort to help her with her body's reaction to shock and to put her mind on breathing and not on the fact that she was nearly upside down in a ravine of water and trapped inside her flipped car. I'm sure that's not exactly where she planned to end up when she was driving around running errands yesterday.
After help arrived, I smiled at her and made my way back up the hill to watch the rescue from a 20 foot distance. I was joined by another man who had also stopped to help. He asked me if I saw what happened. I said no, but was one of the first ones down to her. I also mentioned that I felt very helpless to do anything, other than talk to her. I'm not strong enough to right the van or force a door open and even if I could, I couldn't pull her out. He said something very significant to me. Something that I had lost sight of.
"It's not always your strength that helps, sometimes it's your heart."
In some small way, maybe I did help. Maybe having me and the other woman in front of the van to talk to and focus on helped that trapped driver take her mind off what she had just been through. Maybe it was enough to keep her awake and going until help arrived.
It made me think of the beginning of each semester with students. Particularly my advanced students. I don't expect perfection right away, just effort. You have 4 packages to do before the semester is over, among other projects, and I just want to see improvement. I want to see that you are trying and that you are putting your heart into each project. Your strengths will come later as you learn. I know that. Sometimes it's just your heart, not your strengths that are important.
So, do your best. Put your heart into each project and know that your skills will get stronger every day, as long as you concentrate on improving. Small, concentrated baby steps.
Respond to my blog by talking about how it feels to not be perfect when you try something the first time. How you deal with the fact that there are other people who are better at things than you are while you are learning? How do you improve yourself? How do you get better at things? How do you make yourself feel better while you're learning? What keeps you going when you get discouraged? Do you remember learning to ride a bike when you were a kid and you couldn't ride more than a couple of feet before you tipped over? What did it feel like when you finally "got it" and rode? You weren't perfect. You were wobbly, but your body learned what it felt like to keep a bike upright and moving forward. How did you get better at riding your bike? Did you eventually learn tricks on your bike? Talk about your experiences at learning something new and then getting really good at it.
I'm the type of person where if I am not good at it then I leave it for someone else to pick up and complete. I have always seen everything as something someone else can do better. Though certain things that are interesting are things that I watch to learn the correct function. Those small problems or disagreements are what keep me intrigued when all around me is dull.
ReplyDelete- Stephen Birt
First all, I do not believe in perfection. Its just seem normal to me to find something hard at first, because nobody was born a genius. Everybody knows that there is inequity in everything. With that being said, My way of dealing with the fact that there are other people who are better at things than me is simple; I just use their knowledge and strenghts fairly to improve myself. I always apply myself to anything that I am doing. That is how I get better at things.
ReplyDelete-- JDJ
Aw, that was a touching story, and I really like the quote about strength. It was quite inspiring, actually. Perfection... it's a common goal for many people, but I don't think it's even possible to achieve it. You can't be perfect in anything, can you? Isn't there always something else to learn or better yourself with? Personally, my biggest flaw is public speaking. I always hated the feeling of all eyes on me, eyes tearing up as I stuttered and the people chuckled. The jealousy that would rise up in me as someone else gave a perfect speech, smile all wide, was shocking. I remember in sixth grade, I had to present and I cried so hard before I got in front of my class. Of course, I've improved a lot since then. I think that was the last time i cried about public speaking, in fact. I still avoid it as much as possible, and when I do present, I'm still extremely nervous and lose all sense, but I'm a lot better than I was. I'm no longer as jealous of those with good speaking skills, as well. I'm still constantly trying to improve, and hope that one day, I won't be scared to give a presentation. :)
ReplyDeleteYes I Agree Completely On The Subject Of Perfection . An Impossible Goal , Yet Many Do Their Best To Achieve It . I'm Good At Many Things , Therefore I Tend To Give Up When I Am Faced With A Challenge .
ReplyDeleteKori Jones
Perfection is something that cannot be achieved, but being real good at something is the next best thing. I remember when I first began playing basketball, it was one of the hardest things I ever tried! When I began playing, my team would actually have to roll the ball to me, because I couldn't catch it yet. However, after tons of practice, and determination, I began progressing year after year. Now I have new abilities and skills in basketball, that I worked hard to obtain, and now basketball has become a real passion for me.
ReplyDelete-Marcus Cross
When you do something for the first time it's always exciting and new but if you feel uncomfortable you have to push yourself through it. There is a rewarding experience for trying something new, you don't necessarily hae to be perfect at it. There is no such thing as perfect but we try and come as close as possible to oerfect as possible trough repititious acts.
ReplyDeletethe first time you try something , its hard to get it right the first time. when i fail , i like to try again till i get it right. failure is not an option . i like t push through thec failure to get to the success.
ReplyDeleteI believe perfection is reachable . People can fight there whole lives tryna to obtain perfection and never reach it . When i try something the first time, i like to do it perfectly . I dont like failure . I will continue to do it until i get it right with no problems
ReplyDeletemany people know they are not perfect. you cant be good at everything. so in order to getg better at anmything you have to practice and keep on doing that and dont give up
ReplyDeleteWhen other people are better at thing than i am i TRY my best to be good at the samething they're good at but if i can't i still feel better at the end of the day knowing that i TRIED my best. But practice make perfect and there's no harm in trying so why not keep practicing.
ReplyDelete~Abena Boateng~
That is true. Sometime you do have to put your heart in it to get a great result. Alot of the times i do not put my heart in it but when i do i think and so does everyone else think that whatever i did was beyond awsome. many times in broadcast people do not put thier hearts in their packages. i feel as if we all had our hearts into our packages,all our packages will be great.
ReplyDelete-talitha jones
I hate the feelings of trying over & over again to do something & you arent able to do it. And when people around me are better at something than it makes me want to work HARDER. The only way I can get better at something is try harder & just believe. Ways I make me self feel better is think about the way I am improving, how much better im getting. This class is a perfect example of doing something & trying to get get perfect at it. At first I didnt know how to edit... Now im getting better. But im not perfect yet! I just need a little more practice, but im almost there. And one day I hope to get PERFECT :)
ReplyDeleteThere is no such thing as perfection. At least that is what I believe. I remember you talking about that story in class and I believe that you did help by being there. I am sure the woman in the vehicle felt much better knowing that there were people ther trying to help her even though you didn't know each other.
ReplyDeleteTo improve when people are better than me at something I ask them to teach me how they do it and keep trying until I get it. I make myself feel better by saying I can do it in my head over and over again. Anything can be done right with practice. What keeps me going when I get discouraged would be knowing that people are there rooting for me and telling me that they know I can do it. When i first rode a bike it took me a while to stop falling off of it but eventually I got it right and I felt great! I believe to get somethings done right all you have to do is take baby steps. Baby steps might be a little slow but hey at least you will get it done right. Maybe not perfect but close to perfect.
When I learned how to roller skate I kept falling just like bikeriding. One day I decided to go down this big hill and I guess I was going so fast I just crashed down the hill instead. My legs were scratched up, I had bruises everywhere, and there was nobody there. This lady that lived in the house next to where i landed after my crash came out and told me she was a nurse. She carried me inside and helped me and called my mom. I am very gateful to that woman, not only because she helped me but also because she didn't know who i was and i can see that she still cared. Stuff like that always makes my day no matter how down I am. :)